The Challange

So I have been challenged, recently I have had a string of bad luck more like all the mistakes I have made in the past have come to the surface in a tidal wave an emotional tsunami if you like.

So now I am an adult I chose not to make excuses despite being exceptional at telling myself and others amazing tales of emotional woes. The fact is I have a lot of things about me that I have become quiet comfortable with and I fear it is time to once again time to muster up the strength to deal with myself.

We are moving and this had bubbles a lot of stuff to the surface for the past 5 years I have quiet unhappily been a hermit crab in our tiny old house emotionally festering away at my coulda shoulda wouldas and now I have to decide what is a bigger priority in my life; fear or happiness? And yes I am afraid it is just a matter of priority.

I haven’t had the hardest life and I do not with to trivialize the issues in this world that are very serious but like most I have had pivotal moments in my life that have changed me, but I have learned something for a long enough time I have taken the hurt and fear of other people and made it my own I myself while have had hurt and fear can only deal with myself and not others.

So the challenge:

• First of all I want all of those of you out there festering away to listen and do it with me I want to live again and if you do to then we can do it together
• I want to have a happy family but I need to make myself happy before I can help make anyone else happy (it’s a bit of a ripple effect)
• So I will blog every Day for 30 days in an attempt to succeed at something from that success I will gain a scene of accomplishment which will help my esteem
• Lose weight I currently weight 123kg this is about 278lbs I have created myself a plan this will be about most of my posts as this is the one area of my life that is the core symptom for a lifetime of anxiety
• I will endeavor to earn money, contributing to the family financially with give me some independence and help me find an identity other than mummy.

So join me if you are like me chose today that fear is not a priority in your life chose courage and understanding you will feel better for it.